As I write this blog I realise that it's been over 15 years since I first became ill. Through 2002 I gradually deteriorated. By the start of 2003 I completely collapsed and thought my life was over. I went through many emotions. I was frightened and confused. I was angry and frustrated. I became somewhat depressed. I could see my life slipping away. I contemplated suicide. I went into grieving. I thought that I would never be happy again.
However with time there has come some acceptance and with this new ways to be happy. I have tried to turn the negative into the positive. I've tried to rebuild a life, a life with a chronic illness.
I believe that how we deal with chronic illness depends on how we deal with other things in life. We are all different and some cope better than others. If we are ill for a long period of time it's not helpful to be always miserable and moaning about our lot. Of course we are bound to have days and moments when we feel down and feel the huge sense of loss.
One of my friends recently wrote " Loss of independence, job, social life, ability to drive, work, go on holiday, go out on my own again - something I have not done since 2004. How can you be both happy, and ill? I have been asked this. Well, 14+ years would be a bloody long time to spend moaning about it. Oh, I have my moments!"
And I do as well! There are times when I still feel angry, frustrated and even have a good cry. BUT life is too short. We need to be grateful for life despite having a chronic illness.
I consider myself, like my friend, a person who is naturally happy, optimistic and positive. Although I totally understand for some people depression comes along with chronic illness and they find it hard to be happy.
For those who find it difficult to cope here are a few tips
- Accept that you need to slow down and know your limits.
- Look after yourself and be selfish. What do you and your body need?
- Try to find something good in every day, no matter how small.
- Remember that chronic illness is only one part of your life. You may still be able to enjoy other aspects of your life.
- Try to find a purpose in your life. It will no doubt have changed with chronic illness but you still may find new pleasures and challenges.
- Connect with people who make you happy and with whom you may share your feelings.
In March 2003 my circumstances unexpectedly changed. I was lucky when I found love and someone to care for me. For a while this brought some happiness into my life.
A lot of my happiness and sense of purpose has arisen from my poetry and my writing.
Happiness has also come from the wonderful friends that I have found in the ME community. Many of these friends I have never met but their kindness and support has helped me enormously.
Happiness sometimes comes from simple things -
- the sun on my face
- listening to a bird sing
- listening to a good audiobook
- being able to read a book
- listening to my favourite music
- finding something that makes me laugh
- having a shower
- a good night's sleep
- a nice cup of tea or coffee
- a piece of chocolate or a biscuit
- having a cuddle with my cat
- a kind word or compliment
- being able to talk to a friend
- helping others
Happy
I used
to be happy
Look
forward to each day
Then
M.E. came along
And
took it all away!
My
happiness was gone
Replaced
by a grieving
Anger
and frustration
And
numb kind of feeling.
I
thought life had ended
And
chance for happiness
With
all my days now filled
By this
chronic illness
Yet
slowly there has been
Acceptance
within me
Adjustment
of my life
New
ways to be happy.
What makes you happy?
I look forward to hearing from you.
À bientôt
from the French Femme
xxx
This was excellent!
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