Sunday, 15 December 2013


When suffering from a long term chronic and invisible illness it`s hard to be positive and it`s hardly surprising that many become depressed. 

It`s hard when faced with a severe and chronic illness to accept that life has to change and to find a new path.  I think I`ve reached that point and know that this illness is not going to go away - unless some miracle cure arrives in my lifetime. So I`ve had to learn to live with it. One of my poems touches on the theme of acceptance.  


To say “this illness I accept”
Is such a very hard concept
To accept my life has to change
To accept it can’t stay the same
To accept how I must now live
To try not to be negative
To accept my limitations
To lower my expectations
To accept I need to take care
To accept energy is rare
To accept I need to have rest
To pace myself and do what’s best
To accept new ways of coping
To find better understanding
To not be demanding on me
To reject those feelings guilty
To accept help on a bad day
To be honest in what I say
To accept I’ll have some bad days
And to feel denial and rage
To stop fighting against my fate
To stop my anger and my hate
To again find myself grieving
To mourn that life I’m now missing
To accept does not mean defeat
To know this illness I will beat
To accept is not giving in 
But hope one day this fight I’ll win
To accept part goes to M.E.
To know it can’t take the real me!
I wish I could say “I accept”
But it is such a hard concept  

I think that once there is some acceptance that we can then move forward BUT how to change the negatives of illness into positives? 

I touch on some of the positives in my poems. However a friend has recently suggested that maybe I should focus more on these positives.  Yet it`s easy to focus on the negatives and forget the positives.

I know from the comments and feedback that I have received since publishing my poems that many have found them to evoke emotions and tears. I suppose like myself it`s facing the reality of life with chronic illness and to see it written down in words. Perhaps I have all too easily focused on and written about the negatives.

I would like to believe that I have turned some of my negatives into positives.
  • I have learnt to listen to my body
  • I have learnt how to really rest and relax 
  • I have learnt to appreciate the small and yet important things in life
  • I have met and made some amazing new friends  
  • have learnt how to put myself and my needs first
  • I have developed new skills in writing  
  • I`ve had time to express my self and my life through poetry
  • If I had never become ill I would not have written poems and published a book
  • I have been successful in self publishing a book of my poetry through Amazon
  • Through this book I am contributing to funds for Invest in ME and towards finding a treatment and a cure for this  dreadful illness     
Do you think you could do the same? Have a look at you life now. Do you think you have reached acceptance? Can you see some positives from the negatives? I hope so. Though I suspect that not everyone will be able to do that. We are not all the same.

I would finally like to thank all those people who have helped and supported me in the last year.

I would like to thank all those who have purchased my book.

I hope it makes a difference and helps you, your friends and family to understand this illness.

I am still writing poems, aim to publish another book in 2014 and have other ideas to raise awareness and understanding. I know it`s an old cliché but we only have one life and even if it`s a life sick we still have to make the most of it.
We have to try to see through and get past the negative into the positive.

All that remains is to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthier New Year.

I`ll see you back in 2014 with more poems and more thoughts to share with you.

Love and best wishes from the French Femme xxx


  1. Well done!. Thanks for inviting us to look at both sides of the illness coin. Surprising silver linings certainly can make me feel there is light, not only at the end of the tunnel, but in my everyday living.

    1. I know it`s hard to look at the other side of illness but I have tried today and I hope others can do the same. I think we all need it.

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