Tuesday, 25 November 2014



My blogs are a bit like buses. You wait for ages for one to come along and then they all seem to come at once!

This is a special blog to coincide with International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women on 25th November and 16 days of activism.

As someone who has suffered domestic violence and also suffers from chronic illness I want to help raise awareness. I prefer the term domestic abuse because it's not just physical. The psychological and emotional abuse is just as bad and some, like myself, may say it's even worse.

I was pleased to learn that Home Secretary Theresa May is expected to announce new powers which will put psychological abuse on a par with physical violence

 This is a promising step forward in the recognition of the damage that this sort of domestic abuse can cause.

Domestic violence and abuse can affect men as well as women but the facts and figures show that women are more at risk. 

If the person is also disabled the abuse may be even worse. 

  • Disabled women are twice more likely to experience domestic violence than non-disabled women (BCS 1995)
  • Disabled women are also likely to experience abuse over a longer period of time and to suffer more severe injuries as a result of the violence (BCS 1995)

  • As a disabled woman I feel that I have experienced abuse longer than if I was well and healthy. It's harder to escape and start over again.

    I have written and dedicated a poem to all those who suffer and have suffered like myself. This poem could apply to someone who has a chronic illness like M.E. or who is a victim of domestic abuse or  even both


    I’ve lost my way
    And what was me
    You’ve taken my
    You’ve drained all of
    My energy
    You’ve consumed my
    You've hurt and caused
    Me injury
    You’ve denied me
    My liberty
    You’ve left me in
    This poverty
    And so lonely
    Away from friends
    And family
    You’ve cheated and
    Then lied to me
    You’ve taken all
    Control of me
    You’ve poisoned me
    You’ve sucked the life
    All out of me
    There’s left only
    A shell of me
    If you are a victim of domestic abuse get help today, talk to someone, learn more and above all don't suffer in silence.
    I know it's far from easy. But if I can do it so can you!     
    I have lost a lot BUT I'm starting to fight back and to find myself again. My next blog will be about what I've found..... 
    A bientot
    From the French Femme xxx

    Saturday, 22 November 2014


    Bonjour! Comment ca va?

    Yes the French Femme is back and fighting. 
    I've been absent for a few months while dealing with a few personal problems.
    I reached a low point where I wanted to end it all. But somehow I found the strength to carry on. I was helped and supported by some wonderful friends.
    So I want to start this blog by thanking those who have stood by me and never gave up on me. 

    Well I've got that off my chest and now for the rest of my blog. 

    In the last week I read and was very moved by another blog    

    I was not alone. 

    It has inspired me to write a poem and I've used some of the key words from this blog.

    This illness messes up our lives completely and in so many ways .... 

    Stop messing with me! 

    You’re messing with me
    Just fooling around
    To make me believe
    That I’m M.E. free 

    You’re messing with me
    Blowing hot or cold
    Forever changing

    You’re messing with me
    Give me a good day
    Then you take it back
    So very quickly 

    You’re messing with me
    Letting me push through
    Until I collapse
    And crash severely 

    You’re messing with me
    In my head and mind
    Just when all seems clear
    A fog surrounds me 

    Stop messing with me
    Don’t give me false hope
    Don’t make me feel worse
    Just make me healthy!

    It's the unpredictable nature that messes us about and makes it hard to manage. That also makes it difficult for others to understand.
    I myself have had periods when I've been so well that I've been able to do some decorating but then so ill that I could hardly leave my bed. 
    So how can we fight this unpredictability? 
    Pacing and rest are the two strategies that seem to work the best in managing M.E. and so to avoid post-exertional malaise or a relapse
    Even so it's very hard to predict each and every day.
    We can still get caught out and tricked into thinking that we are on the path to recovery or feel that we are getting worse.
    I just want to get better and I'm sure you feel the same.
    I want to stop M.E. messing with me!

    A bientot
    From the French Femme