Thursday, 28 March 2019



This time I want to talk about another emotion that I feel. 

Sometimes I yearn to escape, to get away, to go outside, to leave the four walls that surround me, to have a change of scenery, to do something spontaneous without any payback, to be able to go out with friends or family, to go for a long walk, to rediscover that carefree person I once used to be.   

To yearn is an emotion when we long, hanker or pine for something. 

It can be a very powerful emotion. 

We may go through physical or emotional suffering as a result of real or apparent hopelessness.   

With a chronic illness like M.E. we often yearn to feel better, to feel normal, to recover and to have a normal life.  

We yearn to have our lives back and do all the things that we miss.  

However, it's something that can not be easily obtained - if ever again. 

Do you feel the same?

Is there something that you yearn for? 


I yearn to
Be healthy
And to
Have some fun
Go outside
To breathe the
Fresh air
In the sun

I yearn to
Be healthy
And to
Have some fun
Meet my friends
To drink, chat
Laugh, joke
Walk or run

I yearn to
Be healthy
And to
Have some fun
because of
it can't be done 

So how can we cope with this overwhelming emotion? 

I have a few suggestions
  • share how you feel
  • talk to someone about how you feel
  • find acceptance 
  • acknowledge that it's natural and ok to have these feelings
  • try to appreciate what you have inside those four walls
  • try to find little occupations that distract your thoughts

What helps you? I would love to hear from you and if you have any tips. 

Thank you. 

À bientôt
from the French Femme

Tuesday, 5 March 2019



Today I want to explore another emotion that I sometimes experience. I sometimes feel jealous of others who are well and healthy. 

Last week I had a visit from a friend who is a little older than myself. She was telling me about her very active life. She goes hiking twice a week, goes swimming, sings in a choir, goes to a needlework group once a week and often  visits and stays with her family. 

As she talked it reminded me of all the things that I used to do and have lost because of this chronic illness M.E. 

I used to love walking and especially hiking. I used to love to swim. I used to love playing tennis. I used to love cycling. I used to belong to many evening classes and groups. I used to work full time. I would visit and go out with family and friends. I used to have a full and active life. 

Now I'm mostly confined to my home. Any trips out are rare and usually make me feel worse and it takes a long while to recover.    

So yes it does make me feel jealous. But what can I do with this jealousy? It only eats me up and makes me feel worse. 

I can't spend my life wishing for what others have. Instead I must try and appreciate what I do have. 

I must stop trying to compare myself to others. 

I have to try and compensate and try to find other things to occupy my time and my mind. 

I should try and remind myself that many people in this world do not have the basic things I take for granted. 

Maybe I should understand that I have many things that other people would be jealous of. 

So instead of feeling jealous and sorry for myself I'm now going to write a list of at least twenty things that I have that other people would want - even as basic as having running water. 

Perhaps you might like to do the same.   

Of those who can have a good time
Reminds me of a life once mine
Of those who are healthy and fit
That was me until I lost it
Of those who go to work each day
I never thought I`d feel that way
Of those who can plan life ahead
Mine is wrecked and I stay in bed
Of those who can fulfil their dreams
Now my life has ended it seems

À bientôt
from the French Femme