SO MANY EMOTIONS

Bonjour, 

I seem to be crying a lot lately. It's either something on the news, a sad film, or a post on Facebook. I've gone through quite a few tissues 😢 

I know that emotional symptoms are a part of M.E. and it's not just me. 

The emotional symptoms include mood swings (emotional lability) - crying easily, excessive irritability or intense emotions such as rage, terror, overwhelming grief, anxiety, depression and guilt. Anxiety and panic attacks may occur. These emotional symptoms in M.E. seem to be linked to exacerbations to an increase in physical symptoms.   

ME Is Often Accompanied by Emotional Problems, but Is Not Caused by Those Symptoms 

Emotional lability is a characteristic feature of ME [1,2,3,4]. According to the last patient population study [3], 98% of the 420 ME patients reported experiencing “emotional disability”. Other emotional symptoms reported in cases of ME [4] include “outbursts of irritability“, impatience, anxiety, and depression. However, it should be emphasized that “emotional lability” and other psychological sequels are caused by ME (likely due to cerebral dysfunction), and do not cause the symptoms.

Even Dr A. Melvin Ramsay wrote 

'Emotional lability is often a feature in a person of previous stable personality, while sudden bouts of uncontrollable weeping may occur. Impairment of judgement and insight in severe cases completes the encephalitic component of the syndrome.' 

That makes sense because when I feel more ill I also feel more emotionally vulnerable. My long term and close friends have also seen and remarked on the changes they have seen in me. It's as if I've gone through some sort of personality change!  

Since becoming ill in 2002 I've gone through all emotions of one sort or another. I'm sure you can also identify with them. 

One of my poems is about those emotions. 

Emotions of M.E.

Angry

When I`m treated like a fake

Is it worth the energy to educate?

Hurt

By many a cruel comment

You've no idea of my pain and torment

Fed up

Of those who can`t understand

Think I am well and don`t need a helping hand

Sad

I `ve lost family and friend

Because this illness they can not comprehend

Lonely

Most days I spend all alone

No person I see or speak to on the phone

Disappointed

Not to make that planned trip out

Leaves me feeling like I want to cry or shout

Upset

When I`m confined to my bed

I need to rest my tired body and head

Hate

Having no control in life

How can I plan to do anything I like?

Grieved

I feel my life has ended

So much lost with no chance it can be mended

Depressed

As there`s no ending in sight

Hard to continue this unrelenting fight

Stressed

By benefit I must claim

But how difficult I find it to explain

Scared

When I can`t breathe properly

Feels like my life is slipping away from me

Frightened

By nightmares or a strange dream

That seem so real and lifelike, what do they mean?

Anxious

And panic with any stress

Which makes my symptoms worse and causes distress

Annoyed

When I can`t recall a word

I feel brain dead, confused and somewhat absurd! 

Distraught

So many tears with this pain

All I want is to feel normal once again?

Frustration

By the ignorance I find

From doctors with no answer and doubt of mind

Despair

After all kinds of treatment

Thinking there`s no cure apart from heaven sent

Exasperated  

When sleep eludes me each night

Even though I`m exhausted and need some respite

Irritation

When you say I look so well

But I feel so very ill. Why you can`t tell?

Happy

When I have a better day

To feel maybe this illness will go away

I'm sure there are a few other emotions that can be added to this list. 

Can you? 

A bientot! 

Love and hugs from 

The French Femme 💖