Bonjour,
This is my last blog of 2025 and a look back at my life in the last year.
At this time last year I was in a bad place. I had taken a trip back in November to visit my parents in the UK. However, I caught a most horrendous virus and went into relapse. I had no interest in Christmas.
Christmas brings many challenges for many people and especially for those who live with a chronic illness like M.E. It's hard if you're alone and at this time of year it can accentuate the loneliness. For those who spend time with family or friends it can be just as hard with all the expectations and pressures to participate in the festivities.
Anyway last Christmas was my worst ever. Come January it was even gloomier. I had an accident in my home and broke my left wrist (the first time I had ever broken a bone). It was extremely painful and recovery was slow.
Later in the year I had indications that my blood pressure medication wasn't enough and was affecting my health. It eventually led to a small increase and an improvement in how I was feeling.
By the end of the Summer there were family problems with concern over the deterioration in the health of our father and the burden of caring for him by our mother. We had to find a solution. At the time it was a worry and stressful for us all. It has been resolved with our father going into a care home and our mother now much happier. Still the health of our father is fragile and so the worry continues.
With all this going on I couldn't think about much else and all my energy reserves went into doing the best to help my family. So my writing has been on hold.
In recent months things have improved generally and my mood with it. Firstly I have sorted out a new home help and that has allowed me to have more energy for other activities.
Secondly I have renewed my commitment to my faith and have been able to join some Sunday services. My faith has always been a part of my life but has lapsed at times. I've found it comforting and heart warming to once again be a part of that community. I now feel more at peace and content. That's hard when suffering with a long term chronic illness.
None of us knows what the future may hold but at this time of year we often contemplate on our life and wonder about the future. I still hold out hope for that things will get better and that I can one day be M.E. free but for me time is running out. I find my prayers turning towards my family and my friends, especially those who are ill with this dreadful lifelong illness.
I'd like to finish by wishing you the best Christmas and I'll be back next year with more poems and thoughts.
The French Femme
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