LOSS

Bonjour, 

Many years ago I wrote a poem entitled 'LOSS'. It was in the early days of my illness and when I was at my worst. It's one of the longest poems I have written and is true and straight from my heart. Maybe you can identify with some or all of it. So much loss comes along with a long term chronic illness like M.E.  

I think my poem says it all 

Loss

I`ve lost so much

The life I knew

Illness to blame

Must start anew

I`ve lost my job

And career too

No hope for me

What can I do?

Now my lifestyle

Can`t stay the same

With no money

It has to change

My house is sold

I `ll have no home

So where to go?

As yet unknown

Soon to lose my

Security

Which then causes

Anxiety 

Family and friends

All stay away

Don`t understand

Or what to say

Loss of freedom

To go outside

Home a prison

Where I now hide

My social life

Does not exist

So many names

Crossed off my list

As for hobbies

I can`t pursue

All pleasure lost

In what I do

No longer have

The energy

Or cognitive

Ability

No stamina

Get up and go

No endurance

Or libido!

I`ve lost control

Of my body

All function gone

Such a worry

Memory loss

The wrong words used

Names forgotten

Or they`re confused

Concentration

Hard to maintain

Brain fog blocks me

And clouds the brain

Loss of balance

With dizzy head

So hard to walk

Prefer my bed

Loss of some weight

And appetite

Feel sick and weak

Stomach not right

I`ve lost all hope

And what I dream

My purpose gone

With self esteem

I`ve lost my faith

In so much now

I want to pray

But don`t know how

I`ve lost my life

The will to live

Feels like the end

No more to give

I'm sorry if this blog and my poem causes upset and distress to anyone but the truth must be told. 

The suffering and my loss and that of others still goes on today. 

À bientôt

from the French Femme

xxx