Many years ago I wrote a poem entitled 'LOSS'. It was in the early days of my illness and when I was at my worst. It's one of the longest poems I have written and is true and straight from my heart. Maybe you can identify with some or all of it. So much loss comes along with a long term chronic illness like M.E.
I think my poem says it all
Loss
I`ve
lost so much
The
life I knew
Illness
to blame
Must
start anew
I`ve
lost my job
And
career too
No
hope for me
What
can I do?
Now
my lifestyle
Can`t
stay the same
With
no money
It
has to change
My
house is sold
I
`ll have no home
So
where to go?
As
yet unknown
Soon
to lose my
Security
Which
then causes
Anxiety
Family
and friends
All
stay away
Don`t
understand
Or
what to say
Loss
of freedom
To
go outside
Home
a prison
Where
I now hide
My
social life
Does
not exist
So
many names
Crossed
off my list
As
for hobbies
I
can`t pursue
All
pleasure lost
In
what I do
No
longer have
The
energy
Or
cognitive
Ability
No
stamina
Get
up and go
No
endurance
Or
libido!
I`ve
lost control
Of
my body
All
function gone
Such
a worry
Memory
loss
The
wrong words used
Names
forgotten
Or
they`re confused
Concentration
Hard
to maintain
Brain
fog blocks me
And
clouds the brain
Loss
of balance
With
dizzy head
So
hard to walk
Prefer
my bed
Loss
of some weight
And
appetite
Feel
sick and weak
Stomach
not right
I`ve
lost all hope
And
what I dream
My
purpose gone
With
self esteem
I`ve
lost my faith
In
so much now
I
want to pray
But
don`t know how
I`ve
lost my life
The
will to live
Feels
like the end
No
more to give
I'm sorry if this blog and my poem causes upset and distress to anyone but the truth must be told.
The suffering and my loss and that of others still goes on today.
À bientôt
from the French Femme
xxx
