I seem to be crying a lot lately. It's either something on the news, a sad film, or a post on Facebook. I've gone through quite a few tissues 😢
I know that emotional symptoms are a part of M.E. and it's not just me.
The emotional symptoms include mood swings (emotional lability) - crying easily, excessive irritability or intense emotions such as rage, terror, overwhelming grief, anxiety, depression and guilt. Anxiety and panic attacks may occur. These emotional symptoms in M.E. seem to be linked to exacerbations to an increase in physical symptoms.
ME Is Often Accompanied by Emotional Problems, but Is Not Caused by Those Symptoms
Emotional lability is a characteristic feature of ME [1,2,3,4]. According to the last patient population study [3], 98% of the 420 ME patients reported experiencing “emotional disability”. Other emotional symptoms reported in cases of ME [4] include “outbursts of irritability“, impatience, anxiety, and depression. However, it should be emphasized that “emotional lability” and other psychological sequels are caused by ME (likely due to cerebral dysfunction), and do not cause the symptoms.
Even Dr A. Melvin Ramsay wrote
'Emotional lability is often a feature in a person of previous stable personality, while sudden bouts of uncontrollable weeping may occur. Impairment of judgement and insight in severe cases completes the encephalitic component of the syndrome.'
That makes sense because when I feel more ill I also feel more emotionally vulnerable. My long term and close friends have also seen and remarked on the changes they have seen in me. It's as if I've gone through some sort of personality change!
Since becoming ill in 2002 I've gone through all emotions of one sort or another. I'm sure you can also identify with them.
One of my poems is about those emotions.
That makes sense because when I feel more ill I also feel more emotionally vulnerable. My long term and close friends have also seen and remarked on the changes they have seen in me. It's as if I've gone through some sort of personality change!
Since becoming ill in 2002 I've gone through all emotions of one sort or another. I'm sure you can also identify with them.
One of my poems is about those emotions.
Emotions of M.E.
Angry
When I`m treated like
a fake
Is it worth the
energy to educate?
Hurt
By many a cruel
comment
You've no idea of my
pain and torment
Fed up
Of those who can`t
understand
Think I am well and
don`t need a helping hand
Sad
I `ve lost family and
friend
Because this illness they
can not comprehend
Lonely
Most days I spend all
alone
No person I see or
speak to on the phone
Disappointed
Not to make that
planned trip out
Leaves me feeling
like I want to cry or shout
Upset
When I`m confined to
my bed
I need to rest my
tired body and head
Hate
Having no control in
life
How can I plan to do
anything I like?
Grieved
I feel my life has
ended
So much lost with no
chance it can be mended
Depressed
As there`s no ending
in sight
Hard to continue this
unrelenting fight
Stressed
By benefit I must
claim
But how difficult I
find it to explain
Scared
When I can`t breathe
properly
Feels like my life is
slipping away from me
Frightened
By nightmares or a strange
dream
That seem so real and
lifelike, what do they mean?
Anxious
And panic with any
stress
Which makes my
symptoms worse and causes distress
Annoyed
When I can`t recall a
word
I feel brain dead,
confused and somewhat absurd!
Distraught
So many tears with this
pain
All I want is to feel
normal once again?
Frustration
By the ignorance I
find
From doctors with no
answer and doubt of mind
Despair
After all kinds of
treatment
Thinking there`s no
cure apart from heaven sent
Exasperated
When sleep eludes me
each night
Even though I`m
exhausted and need some respite
Irritation
When you say I look
so well
But I feel so very ill.
Why you can`t tell?
Happy
When I have a better
day
To feel maybe this
illness will go away
I'm sure there are a few other emotions that can be added to this list.
Can you?
A bientot!
Love and hugs from
The French Femme 💖
