STILL ALIVE

Bonjour, 

I'm sorry that I haven't written or shared a blog for a while. Unfortunately health and family problems have taken precedent. 

Despite this I have penned a few poems and I would like to share them with you here. 

The first one concerns a memory of mine and one activity that I haven't been able to do for a very long time ago because of my illness M.E. (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis). Prior to becoming ill I loved walking and especially hiking. I spent many hours hiking around the Peak District in Derbyshire. This photo of me was taken back in the 70s. Now I'm lucky if I can manage a short walk and then only on my better days (better being a relative term). 

I have also written a poem about my hiking boots and what I miss. My boots are stored away at the back of my cupboard - probably never to be worn again. 

Another poem that I've recently written is about the disbelief of others who can't believe that I'm still ill and that maybe I haven't tried everything to get better. Have you experienced the same? Personally after 23 years of being ill I have tried so many things that are available to me. And yet I haven't recovered and will unlikely to do so with the passing years. 

This next poem expresses my frustration in wanting to do so many things but just impossible to do so. I'm sure you know that feeling. 

The last poem expresses all I want and long for. I'm sure you can identify with this. 

Well that's all for now. I think that I still have some poems to write and share with you. Until then... 

Au revoir

The French Femme 

A story for Severe M.E. day

Bonjour,

This blog is focused on the heart breaking story of Miranda who has severe M.E. (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis). 

Miranda has for most of her life been ill but became severe and bedridden in 2010. Miranda is a courageous, determined, strong and beautiful woman with lots of talent. 

This is her story in her own words. 

I had an idyllic upbringing and a happy family life, seeming to be a normal healthy child. Although I can trace sickly health and dysfunctional immunity back to my teen years, it was in 2001 when I became severely ill with pneumonia. After a second bout of pneumonia and a jaw infection, M.E symptoms started to show. I had to give up work and move back with my parents. An M.E diagnosis took about a year and a half, being told up to that point that I had Post Viral Fatigue Syndrome . 

I was housebound for quite some time but then started to improve. I joined an M.E support group, which is where I met fellow sufferer, Nigel, now my husband. After five fantastic years of marriage (and lots of mini relapses) I became bedridden in 2010 with very severe symptoms.

Severe M.E is in a league of it's own compared to mild, or even moderate M.E. I honestly never believed that I could feel so ill and not die. I never believed it was possible to be able to have absolutely zero ability. I've been so ill that I've been unable to speak, move, or barely have any mental function. Even on slightly better days I've had to choose between combing my hair or brushing my teeth. Imagine the worst flu, combined with jetlag and a hangover, that's a bit like mild to moderate M.E. Severe M.E is way worse.

At the time of writing this, I've been bedridden for 15 years. I cannot leave my room, ever. I use a bedpan, maybe a commode on better days. I can feed myself, using my fingers or light, plastic cutlery, but have had to be spoon fed for years at a time. I cannot wash, it's too much of an ordeal. I haven't washed my hair since 2014. 

I have several carer visits a day, provided by a government scheme, but other than that, when it comes to the medical profession, Nigel and I are on our own to deal with this terrible situation. My family live several hundred miles away and I miss them desperately, but I'm too ill for frequent visits.

Any help I have had regarding my illness I have had to pay privately for. There is no cure for M.E, nor is there any treatment, but I am very fortunate to have had some amazing mentors, who provide me with great support and advice on a weekly basis. Learning about how the nervous system and body works has helped a lot. So has learning stress management and coping mechanisms. I also have some very close friends and amazing family members who are there for me. I am so very grateful. 

I miss everything. Wearing clothes, being clean, arts and craft, walking in nature, touching animals and trees, spending time with Nigel, even being able to live in the other rooms of my home. M.E has taken everything away, it breaks your soul, denying everything you love in life which is deeply important. 

My poetry began from a burst of emotion. It was the anniversary of my Dad's death (I couldn't be with him when he died or go to his funeral), and I felt the need to express it in words. Thus the door opened to writing poetry, which is now a bit of an addiction! I use poems to vent and process my many emotions that flood in on a daily basis.

I also use some of my poems as reminders of how well I'm doing, giving myself encouragement. I have recordings of myself reading them. It's amazing how much it helps to hear kind, compassionate words in my own voice. Poetry is a wonderful tool. 

As much as I despise this life and want to give up sometimes, not being able to bear another moment, I am still determined to drag beautiful things out of my day and make the best of what we have. Nigel and I are soulmates and a team and will not be beaten.

Here are two examples of Miranda's amazing poems. 

I hope Miranda's story helps to raise better awareness of what life is like with severe M.E. 

I'm sure there are many other such stories of those who are neglected and abandoned. How many more years does this have to continue? 

Miranda and her husband Nigel are my dear friends and it hurts me to see them suffering like this. 

Please join me in raising awareness and to find better recognition for severe M.E. 

Thank you 

The French Femme 

MAY AWARENESS 2025 - LIFE, LOVE AND LOSS

Bonjour, 

This is my fourth blog for May awareness 2025. It's focused on three books that I've self published which include a variety of poems and not just about M.E. (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis). 

The first one is entitled 'Life, love, loss and a whole lot more' and was self published in 2017. This time I included photos. 

I also published this book at a cheaper cost without the photos. 

In 2023 I also self published a book entitled 'More of life, love and loss' and included photos. 

In these books I include poems about my life, the loves of my life, the influences in my life, the loss of love, the loss of friends and family, the loss of good health, places and moments in time and a much more. 

If you want to discover 'The French Femme' then you may find this of more interest. 

The foreword of these books was written by Cathy Milby who is a lifelong friend and who faces her own battles with Multiple sclerosis. 

Here is an extract of what she wrote 

Ros's first two books of poetry shared her own, and others' experiences of living with M.E. This collection includes some poems on her illness but also sketches in the background to her M.E. self. 

There are poignant expressions of regret, anger and loss especially about the new life she had hoped to enjoy when she moved to France. Despite poor health, reduced energy levels and now living on her own, she still boldly embraces life in France to the extent that she she includes three poems in French. 

Poetry has helped Ros deal with the limitations of her current lifestyle, reflect on past loves, and remember good times. She can be hopeful about her illness but needs to have a place to express herself in the bad times, more recently in French. 

I admire her ability to grasp new opportunities despite everything. She has found new happiness if not total acceptance of her life with M.E. 

Enjoy learning More of life, love and loss from The French Femme. 

In my introduction I also include a short piece in French written by my M.E. friend Mathilde Khalef. 

Here's an extract of what she has written 

Encéphalomyelite myalgique/Syndrome de fatigue chronique: un nom compliqué pour une maladie complexe. Elle est mal reconnue en France. Pourtant c’est une maladie neurologique très invalidante qui affecte des milliers de malades.

C’est une vie au ralenti, pour certains une vie d’isolement entre quatre murs et dans le noir. Oh le cœur dit oui mais le corps dit trop souvent non, comme une batterie qui ne garde jamais longtemps la charge. Vivre avec et malgré l'EM pour moi c’est fréquemment avoir l’impression de conduire une de Dion Bouton sur un grand prix de F1

My books are available in paperback and kindle versions on Amazon throughout many countries around the world. 

Life, love and a whole lot more  - Amazon UK and Amazon USA

More of life, love and loss -  Amazon UK and Amazon USA 

I've set up a Just Giving Page for raising money for awareness in May 2025.  All proceeds from the sale of this book during May 2025 will be donated to the charity Invest in ME Research. 

I will also be sharing a few of the poems from these books during the fourth week of awareness month. 

Thanking you for your support. 

Au revoir 

The French Femme 

MAY AWARENESS 2025 - 31 Days in May

Bonjour, 

This is my third blog for the third week in May 2025 for awareness of Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (M.E.). 

It concerns two books of mine. The first was entitled '31 days in May' published in 2019 

and a second one entitled 'Another 31 days in May' published in 2022. 

The aim was, besides publishing these books, to share a poem every day throughout May. So each book contains 31 poems. 

Kathleen McCall the chairman of Invest in ME Research kindly wrote the foreword of both books. 

Here is an extract of what she wrote 

Once again Ros has compiled a collection of wonderful poems. Her skill in conveying the reality of what it feels like to live with ME is incredible. She does this with short eloquent lines full of pathos, empathy and often humour. Ros expresses in a few words what many of us could not with a thousand. Her work brings comfort and enjoyment to many, as she raises vital ME awareness and funds for biomedical research. Ros typifies the brave, stoical, resourceful and determined nature of the ME patient community. 

Ros writes her feelings in poems and they resonate with many ME patients. Most have had to give up so much of their daily lives and too many have little or no help. Everyone yearns for an effective treatment or even a cure so that they can participate in society instead of living a very restricted life dependent on helpful family members or carers to provide all essentials. 

Invest in ME Research is an independent UK charity facilitating and funding an international strategy of high-quality biomedical research into Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME, sometimes referred to as ME/CFS), and promoting better education and information about ME in order to raise awareness of the effects of the disease on patients and families and overcome ignorance amid misinformation about the disease.

The charity is working to sustain and augment a UK/European Centre of Excellence for translational biomedical research into ME that will facilitate progress in treating this disease. We prioritise education of healthcare professionals, policymakers, media, and the public.

Invest in ME Research is entirely volunteer-run, led by patients and parents. We have no salaried staff, ensuring that every donation directly supports biomedical research and advocacy.

My book is available in paperback and kindle versions on Amazon throughout many countries around the world. Here are some links 

31 days in May on Amazon UK and Amazon USA

Another 31 days in May on Amazon UK and Amazon USA

I have set up a page on Just Giving for May awareness during May 2025.  And all proceeds from the sale of these two books I will donate to charity INVEST IN ME RESEARCH. 

So please support me, all those who continue to suffer with ME as well as Invest in ME Research. Send a copy to a friend, a member of your family or even someone in the medical profession. 

Let's keep raising awareness of M.E. and make a difference. 

Thank you

Au revoir, The French Femme   

MAY AWARENESS 2025 - SO MANY SYMPTOMS

Bonjour, 

This is my second blog for May awareness 2025. It's focused on my second book of poetry about M.E. (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis) entitled 'So many symptoms'. 

The first edition was published in 2017 and the second edition in 2023. I decided to publish a second edition as I was not happy with the first edition because of the cover and some of the contents. This is the front cover of the second edition and I have thanks to Sam Miller for the design. 

It continues the theme of living with chronic long term illness and specifically M.E. Many of my poems relate to the symptoms of M.E. and that's why I decided on the the focus and title of this book. 

The foreword was this time written by Stacy Hart 

Here is an extract of what she wrote 

On the pages ahead are poems about you and me ....us. We have never met and yet we share the shackled bonds of an illness called Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. 

In her second book of poems, Ros Lemarchand once again engages and educates the reader with first hand experience of what it is like to live with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. Through her relatable despair you can still detect hope, a longing for public acknowledgement of M.E. and what we all long for ... a cure. A strong inspirational woman, she has, despite poor health and many personal battles, continued to selflessly use what little energy she has to raise awareness and funds through her writing talent. 

There are 55 poems in my book and this is the first poem which gave me the title of my book 

So many symptoms

There are so many symptoms

that come along with M.E.

which make it extremely hard

to diagnose properly.

 

There are so many symptoms.

How do you know it`s M.E.?

With no one simple, clear test

it seems like a lottery.

 

There are so many symptoms

which are confused with M.E.

No wonder there is much doubt,

delay and anxiety.

 

There are so many symptoms,

that are difficult to see.

So doctor`s don`t believe us

and question our sanity.

There are so many symptoms

that come along with M.E.

A complete system breakdown

that affects the whole body.  

My friend Miranda Brewster who has severe M.E. kindly made a video about my book

My book is available in paperback and kindle versions on Amazon throughout many countries around the world. Here are two links to Amazon UK and Amazon USA 

I've set up a Just Giving Page for raising money for awareness in May 2025.  All proceeds from the sale of this book during May 2025 will be donated to the charity Invest in ME Research. 

I will also be sharing a few of the poems from this book during the second week of awareness month. 

Thanking you for your support. 

Au revoir 

The French Femme 

 

 

MAY AWARENESS 2025 - My A-Z of M.E. (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis)

 Bonjour, 

Well here I am again hoping that the month of May and my awareness raising will make some difference. 

This year I'm going to share one blog every week throughout May 2025.  Each blog will focus on one or more of my books that I have self published starting from 2013. I will be also sharing individual poems from each book. 

My first book that I self published was entitled 'My A-Z of M.E. (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis'. I was at that time fortunate to have help from a few people as it was a new and difficult challenge for me. Klara Wilson was one of my friends on Facebook. She helped me enormously. Her husband Rob Wilson also kindly agreed to design the cover of my book. Klara sadly lost her life in 2018. You can read about her in this blog 

I also had help and support from Jo Best who wrote a wonderful and very kind  foreword for my book. 

Here's an extract of what she wrote 

This special collection of poems will undoubtedly resonate with anyone facing the challenge of chronic illness and will also be accessible for friends, family, or anyone with a willingness to understand Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (M.E.). These poems represent what it can be like to live on a daily basis, year to year, often decade to decade with an illness like M.E. 

Ros writes from her own experiences and feelings as well as those of others expressed on social networking sites and other internet forums. 

With a professional background in education, a range of life experiences, insight, common sense, compassion, warmth and humour, Ros plays an important and highly valued role in providing help and support to others through this medium, whilst coping with her own challenges in battling this chronic illness. 

Ros's creative flair, complemented by the artwork of fellow sufferers, will be a book to treasure for its poetic artistry and in the hope that one day soon, thanks to IiME and their supporters, it may also have a place in the archives of medical history. 

I was amazed and extremely proud when my first book was published. You can see me holding a copy of my book. 

The first poem in my book, which became the title, was My A-Z of M.E. and was kindly illustrated by Bob Wilson. 

Other poems from my book have been illustrated by Julia Cottam and I will be sharing them during the first week.  

My friend Miranda Brewster who suffers from severe M.E. kindly made a video about my book. You can view it here

My book is available in paperback and kindle versions on Amazon throughout many countries around the world. For example here is a link to Amazon UK and Amazon USA

I have set up a page on Just Giving page for M.E. awareness during May 2025. And all proceeds from the sale of this book and my others I will donate to the charity INVEST IN ME RESEARCH. 

So please support me, all those who continue to suffer with M.E. as well as Invest in ME Research. Send a copy to a friend, a member of your family or even someone in the medical profession. 

Let's keep raising awareness of M.E. and make a difference. 

Thank you 

Au revoir 

The French Femme 

THE IMPACT OF M.E. ON MY LIFE

Bonjour, 

This is about me and the impact M.E. (Myalgic Encephalomyeitis) has on my life. For the first time I'm having to type this with one hand! You see as much as you try and manage this illness events take over and you find yourself dealing with new problems or health issues. My recent unexpected event was a fall in my home and breaking my wrist (the first time that I've broken a bone). So I've been reviewing the safety of my home environment and the impact of getting old. Still it's hard to know sometimes what you can attribute to your illness or other factors.  

On reading this you may find some commonalities in your life with mine but we all vary in degrees of illness, our symptoms, our circumstances and any other medical conditions. 

I've had M.E. for almost 23 years, I'm mostly moderate and housebound a lot of the time. Even with mild M.E. we lose about 50% of our capacity and the life that we had before becoming ill. I miss so much and all the things that I used to enjoy. I miss me. 

I live alone and in a different country than my own. The latter complicates my life even further by language, culture, the poor understanding of M.E. and the illness being mostly known as CFS (Le syndrome de fatigue chronique). I have a few friends but I live far from my family. At times I feel lonely and isolated. Fortunately the M.E. community on social media helps me enormously.  

I'm now officially retired though it feels like that was the case when I could no longer work 23 years ago! With increasing age there comes other medical conditions on top of M.E. For me it has been problems with blood pressure, bladder issues, eye problems, dietary issues, dental problems and a general decline in energy as well as my most recent fall. 

I guess that the longer you live with M.E. the more accustomed you become to manage it though it can be unpredictable. If I receive an invitation of any kind I can't decide on my response immediately. I hope that friends or family understand my limitations and unpredictability of this illness. 

For me the best way to manage this illness is through pacing and rest. However, M.E. changes constantly from day to day and even from hour to hour. It feels like I'm on a roller coaster going up and down all the time. 

This makes it difficult to plan anything. If I know that I have medical visit or some other reason to leave my home I rest beforehand and rest afterwards. Sometimes unexpected events in life can mean that we are thrown into a situation where it's difficult or impossible to plan, pace or rest - as has been the case for me recently.  

There is a limit to my energy both physical and cognitively. I liken my body to a battery that's broken and hard to recharge. Nothing seems to help me to fully recharge my battery. If I push myself beyond this I will most likely suffer with PEM (post exertional malaise) which can last for a few days. If I continue to push myself it could eventually lead to a severe relapse with a worsening of all my symptoms. That's more serious and can last a lot longer. I want to avoid that if at all possible. 

On better days I'm able to leave my home and for a while I feel almost 'normal' for a short period of time. But of course I'm always aware of overdoing things and the strong possibility of payback. 

Of course there are bad days and some better days. Yes M.E. has had a big impact on my life but I have no choice but to learn to live with it - there's no cure around the corner, only some strategies that help. 

What impact has M.E. had on your life? How have you coped with it? 

Au revoir 

The French Femme 

xxx

MEMORIES

Bonjour, 

I'm sorry that I haven't written a blog for quite a while. Let me start this blog in wishing you all a Happy New Year and better health for 2025. 

Last year I spent my time and energy in contacting and seeing friends and family. It had been a long time and was overdue. So my writing and my blogs have taken the back burner. I had to move out of my comfort zone in order to visit friends and family, notably my aging parents. It was a challenge and somewhat daunting. It's never easy to travel with a chronic illness like M.E. Thankfully I was able to do that with careful planning and assistance on each stage of my travels. Yet it was far from easy and told on my health. I've created new memories and feel happy that I made the effort.  I sacrificed my health but feel that the sacrifice was worthwhile.  

During 2024 I also had to deal with yet more new health issues. This was the year to at last address my vision problems and change my glasses - also overdue and had become urgent. For a time I was having double vision which was most unpleasant. That has now been resolved. 

The end of 2024 was extremely difficult for me as inevitably I had caught a nasty cold virus as a result of my travels and exposure to different environments. The worst was an extremely sore throat and mouth. For a while I couldn't swallow or eat and sleep was impossible. Following the cold came a persistent cough. Hopefully I've seen the last of that! 

I now start 2025 with a few projects in mind. One is to visit my parents again while they are still alive. 

I also have various writing projects which are on hold and new ones that I want to undertake. One thing I would especially like to do leading up to May awareness is to publish a collection of poems and ideally to include some poems from other M.E. friends. Writing poetry has been a way for me to express my emotions and feelings along with my frustrations. Fortunately, I've been able to self publish my work. I'm very much aware that I'm not alone amongst those with M.E. who take to expressing their emotions through poetry and discover how it helps to cope with this illness. I would like to share some of their mazing talents either in my next book or to focus them in a blog. 

MEMORIES 

All we can take 

with us 

at the end of the day 

are our memories 

that never fade away 

Au revoir 

The French Femme 

xxx