HOPE

Bonjour, 

Well here we are again at the end of another year and just about to start a new one. Of course traditionally everyone likes to wish you a `Happy New Year` and tries to make New Year resolutions. Everyone hopes that things will get better in the New Year.

My dictionary says that HOPE is expectation and desire (of thing, of doing, that).     

But with a long term and chronic illness, like Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, what hope is there? What can I hope for? What do you hope for?

How can we have the same expectations and desires as `normal and healthy` people? Our lives have been changed by chronic illness. So therefore our hope changes. This is what I said in my poem about hope...

Hope

To have a better day

The pain to go away 

Hope

This fatigue will soon end

And my body can mend 

Hope

To find energy

Then start recovery 

Hope

To improve my pacing

Against all I’m facing 

Hope

I find new ways to cope

Which come within my scope 

Hope

To increase more awareness

So disbelief is less 

Hope

That I can work again

And all’s not lost in vain 

Hope

To better understand

This dreadful M.E. land 

Hope

For a future healthy

And at last M.E. free!

 

  

I feel as if  the best I can hope for is an improvement in the level of my health and to see a step nearer to a cure.. 

I also hope that my poems and what I write helps to increase awareness and understanding of this incredibly difficult illness. 

I think there has to be hope, in order to keep going, not to give in to illness and try to remain positive. I know that`s hard for many and life can seem pointless. Otherwise what sort of life is it? So try to find some hope for the future. Maybe hope has changed but you can still hope.    

Of course many like to celebrate New Year`s Eve.  

Here in France New Year day is popularly called as Jour des Étrennes, and le Jour de I'An. New Year day celebrations are referred as 'Reveillion'. It is considered one of the oldest in France and is an official public holiday.

`People in France go and meet their friends and families, to celebrate the special day with mutual solemnity and ecstasy. A pleasant farewell to the old year and a grand welcome to the New Year is done, with an optimistic hope of success, prosperity, happiness, and peace in the coming time. New Year celebrations begin on New Years' eve and go on till the 6th January of the New Year. In France, New Year's Eve is referred as la Saint-Sylvestre.`

`On New Year's Eve, a traditional ceremony is organized in France, as a part of which, a special festive cake with the name of la galette des rois is cut. A special feast, called as le Réveillon de Saint-Sylvestre is planned, which have traditional dishes such as pancakes and foie gras (flavored duck or goose) on the platter. Also, champagne is served to the visitors. According to French traditions, this special dinner brings in prosperity and good luck to the lives of all those attending the feast.`

I`m not well enough to join in these traditional celebrations.  If I am lucky I may have a glass of something to bring in the New Year. At the same time I will be wondering and hoping that 2014 will be a better one for me and so many of my sick friends. 

Bonne Année! 
From the French Femme
See you in 2014
xxx   
   



 

  

TURNING THE NEGATIVE INTO THE POSITIVE

Bonjour, 

When suffering from a long term chronic and invisible illness it`s hard to be positive and it`s hardly surprising that some may become depressed. 

A depressed person lacks motivation to do anything, but if pushed to get a little exercise, will likely find their mood lifted.  

However, a person with M.E. (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis) doesn't lack motivation to do things, and may even attempt them, then find that they are unable to continue and may become very upset about this. 

It`s hard when faced with a severe and chronic illness like M.E. to accept that life has to change. The longer it continues the more likely you are to reach a point when you realise that this illness is not going to go away. So you have to find some acceptance and a different life. 

This poem of mine tries to express the struggle with acceptance.  

Acceptance

To say “this illness I accept”

Is such a very hard concept

To accept my life has to change

To accept it can’t stay the same

To accept how I must now live

To try not to be negative

To accept my limitations

To lower my expectations

To accept I need to take care

To accept energy is rare

To accept I need to have rest

To pace myself and do what’s best

To accept new ways of coping

To find better understanding

To not be demanding on me

To reject those feelings guilty

To accept help on a bad day

To be honest in what I say

To accept I’ll have some bad days

And to feel denial and rage

To stop fighting against my fate

To stop my anger and my hate

To again find myself grieving

To mourn that life I’m now missing

To accept does not mean defeat

To know this illness I will beat

To accept is not giving in 

But hope one day this fight I’ll win

To accept part goes to M.E.

To know it can’t take the real me!

I wish I could say “I accept”

But it is such a hard concept  

I think that once there is some acceptance we can then move forward BUT how to change the negatives of illness into positives? 

A lot of my poems may appear negative. Yet I'm only trying to express all the feelings and emotions that come along with a chronic illness. I'm trying to represent the reality and not some fairy tale. It's much harder to paint a positive picture. 

I know from the comments and feedback that I have received since publishing my poems that many have found them to evoke emotions and tears. I suppose like myself it`s facing the reality of life with chronic illness and to see it written down in words. I myself become emotional when reading my own poems. 

Personally, I would like to believe that I have turned some of my negatives into positives.

• I have learnt to listen to my body
• I have learnt how to really rest and relax 
• I have learnt to appreciate the small and yet important things in life
• I have met and made some amazing new friends through social media  
• I have learnt how to put myself and my needs first
• I have developed new skills in writing  
• I`ve had time to express my self and my life through poetry
• If I had never become ill I would not have written poems and published a book
• I have been successful in self publishing books of my poetry through Amazon
• Through my books I'm helping to raise better awareness and understanding of M.E. as well as contributing to funds for Invest in ME Research     

You can find all my books on the Author's pages here 

Amazon UK 

Amazon France 

I hope my blog will help you to have a look at you life now. 

Do you think you have reached acceptance? 

Can you see some positives from the negatives? 

I hope so. Though I suspect that not everyone will be able to do that. We are not all the same.

I know it`s an old cliché but we only have one life and even if it`s a life sick we still have to make the most of it.

We have to try to see through and get past the negative into the positive.

Bonne chance 

The French Femme 

xxx