Tuesday, 10 December 2019

LOSS

Bonjour, 

Many years ago I wrote a poem entitled 'LOSS'. It was in the early days of my illness and when I was at my worst. It's one of the longest poems I have written and is true and straight from my heart. Maybe you can identify with some or all of it. So much loss comes along with a long term chronic illness like M.E.  

I think my poem says it all 



Loss

I`ve lost so much
The life I knew
Illness to blame
Must start anew

I`ve lost my job
And career too
No hope for me
What can I do?

Now my lifestyle
Can`t stay the same
With no money
It has to change

My house is sold
I `ll have no home
So where to go?
As yet unknown

Soon to lose my
Security
Which then causes
Anxiety 

Family and friends
All stay away
Don`t understand
Or what to say

Loss of freedom
To go outside
Home a prison
Where I now hide

My social life
Does not exist
So many names
Crossed off my list

As for hobbies
I can`t pursue
All pleasure lost
In what I do

No longer have
The energy
Or cognitive
Ability

No stamina
Get up and go
No endurance
Or libido!

I`ve lost control
Of my body
All function gone
Such a worry

Memory loss
The wrong words used
Names forgotten
Or they`re confused

Concentration
Hard to maintain
Brain fog blocks me
And clouds the brain

Loss of balance
With dizzy head
So hard to walk
Prefer my bed

Loss of some weight
And appetite
Feel sick and weak
Stomach not right

I`ve lost all hope
And what I dream
My purpose gone
With self esteem

I`ve lost my faith
In so much now
I want to pray
But don`t know how

I`ve lost my life
The will to live
Feels like the end
No more to give






I'm sorry if this blog and my poem causes upset and distress to anyone but the truth must be told. 

The suffering and my loss and that of others still goes on today. 

À bientôt

from the French Femme

xxx   

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