Sometimes I don`t want to sleep.
"Why?" you`ll probably ask.
Those people with M.E. will know what I mean.
I`m plagued most nights by vivid and strange dreams or nightmares.
As if sleep isn`t difficult enough!
Yes, everyone dreams and has nightmares BUT with M.E. it feels different.
Sometimes I have one dream that goes on all night. I can wake up, go back to sleep and continue the same dream. It seems impossible to escape the dream. It`s like I`m living a different life in a parallel universe (I watch too much Star Trek!).
Sometimes I have one dream, wake up, go back to sleep and then have a different dream. It feels that my sleep is a never ending succession of short stories - all as real and vivid as the next one.
Sometimes I can`t tell the difference from my dream and reality.
Sometimes the dreams turn into nightmares and I`m scared to go back to sleep.
These dreams and nightmares are exhausting.
Combined with all the other sleep issues my sleep is more like a battlefield and far from refreshing.
So what`s going on?
Dr Myhill says it`s typical of hyperventialtion
`Vivid dreams or nightmares; tingling and numbness of hands, feet, and area around mouth; yawning or sighing; sensation of needing to take a deep breath; panic attacks; feeling of being spaced out, faint or dizzy, episodes of weakness and exhaustion; muscle spasms, twitching, cramp, aching.`
It also seems that we have light sleep, skip through the stages of restorative sleep and go straight into dream sleep. Our endocrine system is dysfunctional and we are lacking in Serotonin.
You can read more here
So no wonder I have all these problems with strange and vivid dreams!
I`ve expressed how I feel in a poem which was kindly illustrated for me by Julia Cottam and `The Big Sleep for ME`
Perhaps you can identify with all this. Perhaps you suffer the same. I`d like to hear from you.
I`ll be back with more about sleep problems and issues but in the meantime
From the French femme